Forks Prank Calling: Cullen Style
by ForeverAlwaysAlone
Summary: The Cullens are bored out of thier minds, so what do they do? They prank call and cause chaos on the poor and unspecting residents of Forks.duh. Funny calls to Mike,Jessica,Tyler,Charlie,Eric,and others. OOC! I've decided to pick this back up. ON HIATUS.
1. Mike and Emelia?

Forks gets prank called: Cullen style

(Mike: Regular, Emmett: Italics)

Emmett's POV

Jasper, Alice, Rose, Me, Edward, and Bella were sitting around the house before school bored to death. No pun intended. When Alice had a vision. Then Eddie started laughing everyone was staring at him except Alice. She knew what he was laughing at, Stupid mind reading, and future seeing vampires. Alice finally decided to tell us what was going on. I busted out laughing. I was going to prank call

Mike Newton after school. After that we all headed out to school

Ring, Ring

Hello

_Hello can I speak to mike?_

This is him can I ask who this is?

_Of course it's…Emelia!_

Who in the heck is Emelia?

_Me, Bella's cousins you promised her you take me out to dinner tonight at eight. Duh!!!_

Oh yeah I forgot I'll pick up at Bella's, see you in five minutes.

_K, I'll be the one in the super short black dress._

…… Wow I thought, she sure sounded hot! What Did I do to deserve this? I hope she's hotter than her cousin.

Flashback

"Mike!" Bella had screamed out when see saw me in the hall.

"Will you do me a favor?" She asked while flipping her hair over her shoulders. Her brunette hair was so beautiful. I had to resist the urge to touch her. Bella's voice broke me out of my reverie.

"Hello, Mike are you listening?"

"Yeah."

"Okay so you'll pick up my cousin at eight right?" wait what her cousin? This must be what she was saying while I was daydreaming about us getting married.

"Your cousin?"

"Yeah, I need you to take my cousin out tonight. Edward and I are going out on a date tonight and I don't want to her to feel left out." she explained. Her eyes lit up when she mentioned Cullen. Man did I hate him; he stole my Bella from me.

"Sure I said love to." I realized if I do this she might kiss me for being so nice to her cousin.

Emmett's POV

I hung up after my call to mike. Everyone was laughing, except Edward who had a disgusted look on his face. _What's wrong bro? _I thought.

"You should his thoughts about you Emmett, disgusting." Everyone starting laughing again. Bella was rolling on the floor. Esme and Carlisle then entered wondering what everyone was laughing about.

"I have a date to get ready for." I answered politely. On cue everyone burst out laughing. Esme and Carlisle still looking for answers. Soon walking away once getting in on the joke.

Mike's POV

I arrived at Bella's two minutes later.

I knocked, only to find Emmett Cullen in a black mini dress with a big goofy grin plastered on his face.

"Hey there sailor where ya takin me?" He asked trying to sound cute but failing miserably.

Whoa he's worst than his brother. Is he gay? Wait did Bella trick me. All these thought swam around in my head. Suddenly Bella's voice woke me up out of my reverie.

"So I see you've met my cousin Emelia" Bella asked biting lip to keep from had to be kidding me right? Then a saw a blinding flash. I looked up to see no other than my enemy. Cullen**.**

"What the heck Cullen" I growled. I noticed he had his hand around Bella's waist .He was trying not to laugh, though he looked like he was going to burst any minute. Who did he think he was? I wonder why I didn't notice him the first time.

"Sorry Mike your expression was priceless!" Bella busted out laughing, he couldn't hold back any longer he join Bella in the laugh fest she was having.

"Sorry to interrupt your laugh fest" I spat. Cullen suddenly had a look that looked was trying not to come punch only thing holding him back, Bella. Though I knew if he wanted to he could push her out the way. I wish he would. Then she would be mine, but knowing Bella she would forgive him in a moment's time. He had her wrapped around his finger. This made me angry! Why did she have to be attracted to him? Stupid money and good-looks. Cullen could have any girl he wanted but no he had to choose my girl. Emmett's booming voice brought me back to reality, I had totally forgotten about him, until he spoke up.

"So where are we going Mikey-boy, Emelia is very impatient!"

Right then both Bella and Edward burst into laughter. After that comment I stomped out of the door and headed back to my beat-up

Cadillac.

"That was a good one, Emmett or should I say Emelia?" Bella said between giggles once I was outside.

"Did you see the look on Mike's face when he saw it was Emmett?" I heard Edward say on my way to my car.

"I know, It was hilarious!" Emmett exclaimed, his booming laughter pulsing outside.

I really need some sleep after that disaster. The only way to describe that "Get to together." I thought. The drive to my house was silent. I couldn't stop thinking about Emmett and the dress, and Bella's laughter, Or Cullen snapping my Picture. Ughh I hope they don't tell anyone. Wait its Cullen im talking about. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.


	2. Charlie and the murdered Poptarts

Forks gets prank called: Cullen style

AN: You guyz are the shizz. Read, Laugh, Review. If you don't something bad will happen I have foreseen it. Read bottom AN to see what it is.

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight therefore I don't own my Emmy-pie. Man! Rose is lucky. I also don't own poptarts. Those things are so good. I do own sir and lady Poppingworth though, and a box of double chocolate cakesters and my crazy imagination. So read and review but only if your totally twinkie (my word for Cool) No. Review even if your not twinkie then you will be twinkie.

(Bella: Italics, Charlie: Regular)

Bella's POV

Cullens house

It was Friday and I was spending the night at the Cullen's house. I had just came back from Wal-mart. We were prank calling people. Yesterday Emmett had called mike, and I tricked him into going on a date with Em. Haha what a loser, good times! I then had a brilliant idea.

"Hey you guys I have an idea. Lets prank call Charlie."

"Good Idea, love. It's a slow day at the station and Charlie doesn't want to go home because you won't be there." Edward explained.

"You're becoming one of us Bells!" Emmett exclaimed through laughter. "I'm so proud." He says while wiping fake tears from his eyes.

"He's right Bella." Alice chirped while bouncing with excitement. She was one hyperactive pixie.

Charlie's POV

At the Forks Police Department.

It was a slow day at the station. I thought about going home but I knew Bella would be at the Cullen's. That darn boyfriend of hers. Then the phone rang, I rushed to answer knowing it might be an emergency or Bella.

"Hello, Forks Police Department. Chief Swan speaking." I said professionally.

"_Hello, I'm glad you answered I have a major emergency."_ The girl sounded hoarse like she had been crying.

"Well miss that's my job. What's your emergency?"

"_Well see my poppy was murdered." _The girl was sobbing at the mention of her cat I guess that's what died.

"So your cat was murdered correct?" I asked

"_Poppy's not a cat." _She said through her constant tears.

"Dog?"

"_No."_

"Then what is it?"__What could it be that died I hope she wasn't calling about a fish. I mean calling about a pet in general was kinda dumb but I think we still handled those kind a cases. But a fish?

"_My pet pop-tart!"_ She yelled now crying harder then before

"Pop-tart, you have to be kidding right?"

"_Nope."_ She said popping the p.

"……….. So how exactly was poppy murdered?"

"_Well, I went to the store and told my boyfriend to watch him. _

_- sob- then I came back he was missing. I asked my boyfriend where poppy was and he said…. He ate him!-sob- Ate him! He was the best pet. He never barked or peed in the house any of those things other pets do. I will miss him-sob-Why do the good always die young?……" _The girl continued rambling on about her "dead pop-tart". This would be along day.

"_Anyway enough of my blabbing, aren't you gonna arrest my boyfriend for murdering my pop-tart?"_

"Sorry miss we can't arrest him for that."

"_But why" _she started with the full blown water works.

"Well miss. You left the pop-tart out, plus that doesn't count as murder." I explained to the deranged "victim" if you could called her that. This girl seemed like nut job if you ask me.

"_Well thanks for your help, even though you didn't help. Anyway I would like to invite you to the funeral. I know you didn't know poppy very well but I would appreciate if you came and you would make poppy very happy wherever he is, hey do you think there is a pop-tart heaven? Anyway the funeral is Saturday, the16th. Bye, Gotta feed bob the sandwich." _See was kidding right, a funeral for a pop-tart? Pop-tart heaven? A pet sandwich?! I was starting to question my sanity.__

"Okay miss, bye. I will try to make it to the funeral."

This definitely was an interesting day at the station I couldn't wait to get home to tell bells.

Bella's POV

After my call to station the Cullens were on the floor rolling with laughter. They were all holding their sides.

"So how'd I do?" I asked curiously.

"That was awesome Bells!" Emmett exclaimed through his laughter.

"Yeah, Charlie that you just escaped from the mental institution." Edward stated.

"Seriously?"

"Yep, so are we really having a funeral or Sir. Poppingworth?" Edward asked jokingly. Emmett started laughing again.

"No." I said laughing

"Man I wanted to plan it!" Alice pouted.

"Hey do you guys have any more poptarts?" I said hungrily. Rubbing my stomach.

"In the kitchen, right cabinet." Esme said descending from the stairs.

"Thanks Esme." I said opening the cabinet and pulling the box out. Yum, Chocolate cookie dough poptarts.

"This is Lady Poppingworth and she is mourning the loss of her beloved husband." I said

"Edward how could you kill such a sweet creature, you should be ashamed of your self." I said wiping a pretend tear from my eyes.

"Sorry, I just wanted to know what it tastes like. It was awful." He said with a look of disgust on his face. Then I ate my poptart.

"Now you can be with your husband in poptart heaven." I said

"Bye ,We will miss you." Said Alice with a sad expression on her face.

"Alice it's just a poptart." I said staring at her.

" I know, it's just she died so young and I didn't even get to dress her." She said trying to cry. We all just shook our heads at the weeping pixie. ( Or trying to weep.)

"So who's next on the list?" Asked Emmett in excitement, Alice started bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Is she Bipolar?" I whisper to Edward.

"Hey!" She shouted "I am not."

"Whatever Alice."

"So next on the list is…..Eric." Alice shouted "Rose and I are so doing this one."

AN: I know where do I get these ideas? Let's just say I hear voices. Haha. No I just have a very over-active imagination plus I eat a lot of sugar. I hope I don't have diabetes. That would be terrible. Why do the good die young? So R&R you might get your own sir and lady Poppingworth. If you don't the poptarts of the world will band together and take out the beloved Cullens. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So review! Just Press the BUTTON or the Cullens will get it. You guys are so twinkie! (cool)

Foreva Lova of Suga, Natural Disaster In The Making!


	3. Eric the flasher

AN: Thanks for all the reviews!!! Here's chapter three!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight! The truth hurts, so I must go sob my twilight obsessed eyes out!!! JK! Shout-out to YatenLover who inspired this chap with their idea!!! I also don't own The Volvo 240 GLT, or Britney Spears' Slave 4 U.

Rose's POV (at the Cullen's mansion)

We were prank calling people! It's was me and Ali's turn! We were calling………..EW!!! Eric. Bella's call would be a hard act to follow.

"Hand me the phone." Bella handed me the phone. Me and Bella were getting along much better we were close to being best friends. I looked at her ring as she handed the phone to me. It was beautiful I'm glad Bella was becoming part of our family.

"So anyone know the loser's number?" Alice handed me a piece of paper. I looked at her funny. Why in the world does she have his number.

"He gave it to me at the beginning of sophomore year. I kept just in case." Whatever. I punched to numbers in and the phone began to ring I put it on speaker.

Ring, Ring

"_Hello?"_

"Hi!" I say in a giggly school-girl voice!

"_Um hi"_

"Hi my name is….Kristina! I'm one of Bella friends; she has a major crush on you!" I say trying not to laugh! Bella looks at me shocked, while the guys bust out laughing.

"_Really, you mean it?" _Desperate much?!

"Yeah I mean HUGE!!!!, she said you should come over naked and sing Britney Spears' 'Slave 4 U". Edward growled.

"_Ummm Okay!" _This should be good, what a loser! It was Ali's turn.

"Wait! You should like be there at like 6:30, k? Like the first window!" She said in a flawless valley girl accent.

"_Right, be there 6:30 sharp!" _He really was desperate. That's sad!

He hung up! I take in the living room and all the guys are rolling, clutching their sides, even Edward who was just growling. I swear sometimes I think he and Alice are bipolar. I look at Alice next, she has a weird amused grin/smirk. Must've had a vision. Bella's is looking mortified! This should be real good! I join in the laughter. I couldn't wait!

Eric POV

This was the best day ever!!! My dream girl loves me !!! Although I was a little skeptical about showing up naked. What if I was to skinny, but hey if that what she wants she got it. I should go work out! I worked out while jamming to Britney Spears, got get ready for my big performance.

20 mins later at Bella's house

Bella's POV

Here we are at my house waiting for Eric. Ewwwww! Plus he was coming naked, that even worst. I'd rather jump off a cliff. Okay bad idea on my part considering what happen last time I did that. Shudder. I'm gonna kill Rose!

Alice's POV

We all arrive at the Bella's house. I had the camera ready! This was so YouTube material! The thing Eric doesn't know is the first window is Charlie's not Bella's. Haha. I hear tires approaching. I look out the window and there is Eric wearing nothing but a trench coat! He gets out his old Volvo 240 GLT. Even Edward is ashamed of the old piece of crap! (AN: Google it! It's horrific)

Bella looks very angry. Eric pulls a boom-box out the trunk. Yes a boom-box! What year is he living in the 70's. It's 2009. Get with the times old man! The boom-box –I still can't get over that- start playing Britney Spears. He throws a rock at Charlie's window, and begins stripping! Charlie opens the window, Eric continues without looking up. Charlie looks angry, confused, and mortified.

" Charlie's pissed! I feel bad for that sucker! No pun intended." Jasper says. We all bust out laughing. Eric finally looks up and seems confused.

" What the hell do you think your doing? You just committed a class 4 misdemeanor. Public indecency."

"Your not Bella." Eric said still confused.

"Damn right, buster! You're commin' downtown with me." Charlie states professionally,

"No, sir this was all a big misunderstanding. I was here for Bella." Eric pleas. Wrong thing to say! Charlie goes down stairs and get's his handcuffs. We all watch from the window as Eric gets handcuffed.

"I'm sorry, sir I was here for Bella I swear! I'm not gay." He looks as if he gonna cry. Whimp!

"So you were gonna flash my daughter, uh?" Charlie screams at Eric like a drill sergeant.

"Not like that, sir."

"Drop and give me 20 maggot!"

"What?"

"You heard me, do it NOW!!!" Charlie screams just like a sergeant.

"Sir, yes, Sir!" Hee then attempts to do push-ups in handcuffs afraid of might happen if he talked back again. Charlie then puts him in the back of the cruiser. All of us are rolling on the floor, even Bella!

"Did you see his face when Charlie came outside!" Exclaimes an amused Emmett. " I mean did you see the size of his-"

"Emmett!" We all yell.

"That was funny, way to go Rose!" Said Edward

"Thank you." Rose said enjoying the praise and attention. Typical Rosalie.

"he is in some deep-"

"Jasper!" I yell

"Crap?"

"Better" Bella then yawns.

"Bed time for the human" I say. We all drive back to the house and say are goodnights to Bella. This was a great day.

Eric's POV

Here I was, Eric Arthur Yorkie, at of all places… The Police Station! I've never done anything to disobey the law ever! My surprise for Bella was screwed. I ended up flashing her Dad! Her Dad! I knew this was to good to be true. Chief Swan or General Swan yelled at me for a while, He even made me attempt to do push-ups again. I called my parents they weren't very happy! They are making me quit the Chess Club! My poor chess mates. How will they survive? Tomorrow would be a long day! In Forks news spreads fast! Maybe I can pretend I'm sick tomorrow!

AN: ROTFLing. Thoes darn Cullens Poor Eric. Review! Or you won't know what's gonna happen to Jessica! Sorry if I babbled in the Alice POV part. I love this story it's so fun to write! Anyway Review!!!!!!!! Thanks again YatenLover who inspired this chapter! P.S. I love Brittney, I just thought the song would be funny!


	4. An uncomfortable call to Jess

Forks gets prank called: Cullen style

(Jess: Italics, Bella: Reg, Edward: Underline)

Bella's POV

So rose was done and jasper went to the store to buy me some cakesters. I had a craving for them. Well I was pregnant. So make it my turn. Edward was going to do it with me. We discuss what we were going to do. We were going to call Jessica. Ugh! I hated her since I found out she wasn't really my friend. She was just trying to become popular. Then she dumped me to hang with Lauren Mallory.

This was going to be funny. Edward didn't agree with my plan at first. Put I gave him the puppy face he couldn't resist. Yes! He agreed. Alice handed me the number. I punched it into the phone after the third ring she picked up. Action.

"_Hello" _she said in groggily tone.

"Sup Jess it's me your old bestie Bella." I said in a vengeful tone.

"_Bella Swan! How are you?"_ She said in an excited tone not noticing my vengeful tone.

"Well now I'm Bella Cullen. I'm happily married to Edward." I'm surprised she still lived in forks. After marriage most people move.

"_Oh yeah I forgot."_ She stated

"So how are things going with you and Mike." She married Mike two weeks after me and Edward got married.

"_We got a divorce. I realized he was a loser. Now he lives with his mom." _She explained. Ha! I knew he was a loser. Living with his mom.

"He is a loser…..Edward stop I'm on the phone."

"But Bella babe I miss you."  He said loud enough for Jessica to hear.

"But it's only been two minutes." I said to him. He grinned.

"I know, but I love you." He stated.

"I loved you too, now stop I'm talking to Jessica." I said looking in his eyes. His beautiful topaz eyes.

"Oh hi Jessica. How are you?" He asked innocently taking the phone from me.

"_Good am I interrupting something?" She asked._

"No" I stated

"Yes!" Edward yelled

"Edward! Stop."

"But Bella your so irresistible and sexy" He said into the phone.

"Thank you honey and you are sexier." I said into the phone

"_Um I'm gonna go um……take a shower that's it." _she said I was trying not to laughing.

"Bye" but I knew she was still there so it was time to turn it up another notch.

"Now where were we?" He asked seductively 

"I don't know. I do know you would look sexier if you took off your shirt." I said. Edward purred.

"You take it off for me." He said grinning a crook smile.

"K." She was still there but she sounded like she was going to puke. Time to turn it up once more. "Oh Edward…. that's it." Then the line went dead. She hung up probably to puke. We all started laughing.

"Bells is the prank call master!" Emmett exclaimed. I blushed.

"Yay!" Said Alice.

"That she is Em." Rose said. Ever since me and Edward got married me and Rose have become really close.

"Bella is definitely one of us!" Emmett said grinning. Jasper then walked in.

"So why is Bella the prank calling master?" He asked smiling. Alice then explained. He started laughing.

"I saw Jessica at the supermarket and she had disgust coming off of her so that's why." Jasper said. I knew Jasper heard the call.

This was a good one. Now I want some pickles. Edward will take me to the store to pick some up. I loved that man or vampire with all my soul, which would be soon gone.

AN:HAHA! Jessica got sick. Bella wants some pickles so do I. I wish Emmett would go pick me up some. Anywayzerz R&R. tell me if you thought it was funny. Bells is the prank calling master and Mike Newton is a total loser with a capital L. If you don't press the button if you don't Bella will prank call you. Then My Penguin Juno will bite you. Haha.


	5. It's DrFeelgood BEEP

I decided since my last chappy sucked I would post two in the same day! Good for you, uh? On a exciting new chapter Jasper calls…….Lauren! –cue evil music- Standby and read!!!!

Disclaimer: I am now the proud owner of Twilights and all it's rights! –Cue evil laughter- Emmett is finally mine!

Rose: NO he isn't

SM: You do not own Twilight!

Me: Ugh fine! I Nicolette, Here by solemnly swear that I do not own Twilight.

SM: That's Better.

(Lauren: Italics, Jasper: Regular)

Bella's POV

Now that Jessica is taken care of, it Jasper's turn. He was supposed to call…..Lauren Mallory! The queen b**** of Forks. Can you say Ewwwww?

"Haha Jasper has to call Lauren!!!" Emmett laughs. We all laugh at the pained expressions on Jasper face.

"Don't worry, Jasper. Take deep breaths or never mind." I say.

"What's the number?" He asks Alice.

"Here" She hands him a sheet of paper. He presses in all the number and puts it on speaker phone,

Ring, Ring

"_Hello"_

"Why hello. I'm looking for Lauren." He states professionally.

"_This is her!" _She says trying to be seductive, but failing_._

"This is Dr. Feelgood. I hurr you needed help with rejection?" He says in a gay tone.

"_How did you know?" _ She asks cautiously.

"I knows everything, lets countinue. What's her name?" We all start laughing.

"_Sir, it's a boy. More like a man."_

"Ah! I see, like a man. you been rejected by a 60 year old man? Dats a shame." We all start laughing again.

"_No he 18."_

" I see, this a how you do it. You go to him and be all like what's yo problem, yo? Den be like that is not how you treat a lady, Okay? Den you slap him wit yo purse and flaunt dem hallways." We all busted out laughing at jasper's imitation of a somewhat gay dude.

"_Okay?"_

"B**** please I know what I is talking bout! I also hurr you have a crack addiction?"

"_NO! Who do you think I am?"_

"A B**** dat don't know English, K? Need it in Spanish? Don't make me a go Latino on you? Anyway crack is da fizzsham."

"_Umm good-bye."_

"B**** if you hang up on me, I will beat you down to da ground. I knows where you lives at, Okay? I am Dr. Feelgood aka B**** Slapper, Okay?" We all start cracking up as the line goes blank.

"B**** hung up on me? Cans you believes it?"

"Wow jasper." Was all we could say. I wonder whos next. Alice of course. Maybe whe should set Lauren up with ''. Haha

AN: Sorry it kinda sucked and was short again major writing block! Anyway please review. Crack is bad don't do it!!!!!!! No more . I also would appreciate constructive critism. Next is Alice calling Jake. PM me with ideas cuz this pretty little brain is all out. Thanks for reading. Review


	6. Holy shizz a talking dog

AN: You guys are the best ever!!!!! Thanks for all the reviews! I will try to make this chapter funnier then the last two. Still have some writers block, but I've been sparked with an idea, so I'll give it a try! Thanks again. Enough rambling here's chapter 6.

Disclaimer: You decide do I own twilight?

Eveyone: No!

Me: I thought you guyts were on my side!

Fan: No we like Stephanie Meyer more.

There you have it folks I don't own Twilight.

(Alice: Regular Jake: Italics)

Alice's POV

It's was my turn and I had to prank the dog. I was sparked with an excellent Idea. This should be funny. Edward started laughing, dang I knew I should have blocked my mind. Ah, whatever.

"Hand me the phone, please." Jasper handed me the phone, I quickly punched in the digits.

Ring, Ring

"_Hi?"_

"Hello, this is Al…Alicia." Whew almost messed that one up.

"_Okay?"_ He probably like who in the world is Alicia, all will be revealed soon my friend.

"My name is Alicia Sliverston, I work at the Forks Kennel. I'm calling for a confirmation on an appointment for a dog name Jake." Everyone started chuckling. They knew where this one was going.

"_What? Miss I think you have the wrong number."_

"Is this 578-645-992?"

"_Yeah, but-"_

"excuse me, there are no buts in confirmation, so when can you bring your dog sir?"

" _I don't have a dog."_

"Umm yes you do!"

"_Umm no I don't!"_

"Are you getting loud with me sir? Security!"

"_You can't call security, we're on the phone."_

"That's what she said! Bring your dog in on the 15, Thank you!"

" _I have no dog, I'm Jake."_

"Holy shizz and fondue, a talking dog. I can't believe my eyes I mean ears."

"_I'm not a dog!" _Sure Jake.

"OMG!!! A talking dog, I can't believe it!" Everyone is rolling now.

"_Okay this all just a big understanding. I'm not a dog I have no __Ok?_

" Whoa dream big! Sorry dude, but that one doodle that can't be undid. You're scheduled for tomorrow. Good day!"

"_But-"_

"I said good day sir! I expect to see you in the next hour. good-bye" Then I hung up the phone. Everyone was cracking up.

"Hahahaha!!! Jake, dog, Hahaha!!" was all Bella could say. Bella was next. This should be really good.

Jake's POV

three words. What The Hell? Who the hell is Alicia. And who in Sam's heck (No offense to sam) made me a freaking vet appointment. Probably the Cullens. Ugh, I despise them sometimes. Well I guess I don't want to be late. What fun it will be........Not!

AN: Yes some of the last bit came from Juno. I love that movie! Thank for reading It was funnier than the last two. I will update soon. I know it was short I still have a bit of writer block.=( I still except construtive critism. See that button down there? No, a little to the left. Bingo! Click it NOW!!!!!!


	7. AN: HELP

AN: I know it's taking longer than usual. I will update but I need your help!!! Oh I would like to say Thank you for all the reviews, favoritings, and subscriptions!!!!!!! I need help for this next chapter. It will be Rose calling Carlisle. The basis is Carlisle starts clam but finally loses it. So please send me your ideas!!! Thanks!

P.S. : After this story is done I will be starting a new one shortly!!!!


	8. DrCullen is God

AN: This is one of the last chapters. Unless you PM me and tell me who else to prank. I still have Tyler, the Pack, and a mystery person. Thanks again for all the support!!!! Love you guys!!!!! PS I love God!!!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or God. Unfortunatly

Bella's POV

It was my turn again, but I gave my turn to Rose. I'm so nice. Alice handed Rose the phone as I wobbled to the kitchen. I suddenly had a craving for a lollipop. Yay, candy! I found a watermelon flavored lollipop and returned to the living room where the Cullen's were waiting.

"Who should we call next?" I asked breaking the silence.

"Carlisle!" Decided Alice.

"Whatever."

"Hand me the phone it's my turn." Rose said smiling at me. Alice handed her the phone.

"He's on break right about…now!" Alice exclaimed.

Rose's POV

"Here goes nothing."

Ring Ring

"_Hello, This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen speaking, how may I help you?" _Carlisle answered very professionally.

"Hello I need your immediate help!" I said in fake distress.

"_Please do countinue." _

"My husband needs……GOD!"

"_How can I help you with that?"_

"Your God! For creator of the universe your sure are slow." I said

"_No I'm not I'm Dr. Cullen."_ Carlisle was very patient.

"That just an alias! It said so in this Bible New Cullen Version." I said amused

"_How did you find it?"_

"Ugh! I just had it!"

"_Okay_."

"Since your god how come I never recived the pony I ask for when I was five?

"_First I am a doctor! Not God or Santa!"_

"Hey! You know Santa! Ask him if he will bring me a life size Barbie dream house, Oh! And a puppy named mittens, ah, and a bike, Ou and chocolate model of Zac Efron, he's yummy!...........

………….20 mins later…………..

"_Is That's all? Are you serious. A dog? Pickle? Zac Efron? Barbie? I think you have a problem! Leave me alone. Why me?" _ Mission accomplished he lost his mind; he snapped! No more calm Carlisle. He thought I was crazy

"That is no way to speak to a client!" I screamed at the phone in fake anger.

"_I'm so sorry Mrs. I lost it."_

" Your right your not God! He would never talk to his children like that!" I huffed.

"_AH!!!!!!!!!!! Finally you've realized I am not god nor will I ever be! I am not that old!_

"Fine but do you still know Santa?" The house started cracking up.

"_NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

"No need to yell! I've got it! Your Tom Cruise!!!! Ou, can I get your autograph? Do you know Zac Efron since you're a big Hollywood actor? Oh is Oprah nice? How soft is her couch?..........

I finally hung up pleased with myself.

"Good job Rose! Carlisle was really pissed!" Jasper said

"ut oh." Alice said in hushed tone. We all looked at her confused

"Carlisle is pissed and is coming home."

"So" Emmett says. Leave it to him to not care.

"He knows it was us."

"Ah." Says Bella sucking her lollipop.

"What do mean ah?" Emmett asks

"I'm no Alice but I knew you couldn't pull one over on Carlisle." She said calmly. "Now if you excuse me I hear a Strwberry milkshake calling my name." Her and her cravings.

"So whats going to happen?" Edward asked while following Bella into the kitchen.

"He hasn't decided but There are two possibilities."

"Continue!" We all shouted, except Bella.

"I- I-……………"

Carlisle's POV

Those kids. They'll pay. I'm going to…………

AN: I know cliffie. Don't worry. The next part will be up faster than the great Flash!!!!!!! Review!!!!!!!


	9. AN

AN: Sorry that I haven't updated for a long time. I really am. For now this story is on hiatus. I have MAJOR writer's block. If you have ideas that would help soooooo much. Please don't hate me. I am working on new stories in the meantime. So please PM me ideas so I can finish this story. Thank you.

Ps: I have changed my penname to: There'sNothing2FearXceptMe

so yea again thank you for all the support

PSS: 1 more thing Read and REVIEW (emphasis on review) Fire-Fox6677's stories!!!!!!!!!!!! She's having a hard time! no one's reading her stories and reviewing! So Read and REVIEW them they're good! Would I lie to you? So be good little boys, girls, and creepy old men (no offense i guess) and read and review the stories and you get a cookie the size of canada that's freakin big! Oh and I love canada so that wasn't meant to be offensive.


	10. AN: STORY NOW OFF HIATUS!

AN: Okay, GOOD news! I'm back! And I will religiously update this story from now on. Sorry, to keep you all waiting. I know it's been AWHILE, and you guys are probably pissed at me for making ya'll wait, BUT I had MAJOR writer's block (what a bitch, right?). But now, I'm back, so thank you all for your patience and positive reviews. It means a lot.

Oh and Ps: I did change my PenName. Just an FYI.


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